Lets see, what can be the possible reasons for my happiness? I haven’t exactly been doing “brilliantly” in my tests but yeah things are looking up. I’ll do better if I start studying and not depend solely on my previous knowledge of the topic. (Which is nil when it comes to physics, so that explains my dismal performance. [:(] )
May be it is that I have learned to control my temper!!!! Yes. And it’s all the more good because I always thought myself incapable of it. Now, I have found better ways to give vent to my pent-up feelings, rather than losing it on others. Ways like, playing basketball on the terrace or drink some cold coffee and sleep! And the best one is to try and solve physics problems. Last one is either equivalent to banging one’s head against the wall (when you can’t do a thing properly) or gives me a high. (When things are okay) (I have never been “tunn” so don’t know what exactly one feels when they are “there” but people get a high after a heady drink I guess it is something like what I feel when I solve 10 numericals in a row [:p]and that happens quite frequently now-the only side-effects in my case, being “a feeling of satisfaction” and “happier parents”)
May be it is because I have re-realised that it’s ME who will decide who all I want in my life. I choose my friends. I decide who all I want to talk to, and in what way. It’s my prerogative to determine how close or far I wish to be to my masi-mausaji or my first cousins, and that mum-dad have absolutely no problems with my decision of maintaining distance for the simple reason that I dislike them. (One should keep it simple- like/dislike/I-give-a-damn) All this sounds so obvious but then this whole funda registered completely only sometime back when mum told me that I am, after all a child/kid. I don’t have to be sweet and nice to everyone even if I hate them like hell but that does not mean I have to be rude to them. She just meant “Cut off when it starts getting on your nerves”. Differentiate between best friends, good friends and well, just friends. You can’t be an open book for everyone to read. Learn to let go of people when its time and know when the time comes. I loved it. I don’t know but it makes you feel better (confident and sure of yourself??) to know for a fact that YOU are the one who’s completely in control of your life and that nobody can ever take that away from you. This, isn’t exactly the kind of advice mum usually gives me. She’s more like “step into the other person’s shoes”, “you disagreeing to a thing does not make it any less true” but then I guess she knew what I wanted from her at that point in time. She gave me just that. MOTHERS, they ALWAYS know what is good for you. (Even when they don’t get you a cell-phone or teach you how to drive a 4-wheeler while your 13 year old first cousin is doing a Schumi and practically everyone in the khandaan knows how to drive a car, leaving out you and your younger brother, hmphhhh. Thankfully I have my bro’s company.Relief! hehee)
All this is more than enough for me to be happy-happy. Yeah, this abstract and dumb sounding stuff makes me secure and glad. Lol. To count the normal stuff…ummmm…one can be that mum-dad bought me two new capries and two tops in last one week!!! Other can be that "InSoMnIaC" is gonna be out soon-for those who dont know it yet, that's the name of Enrique's much awaited album. He kept us waiting for 1155 days!!! lol. And it can also be that I have struck a balance between friends and family. I don’t talk over the phone to my friends much now and don’t even message much (Don’t message because I CANT message anymore, lets not discuss this and keep the tragedies aside for now) Now everyone’s getting used to the idea of me being a night bird ("yullupana" rubbing off [;)]) who is mostly out of house in daylight and if there, is sleeping. I am alive and kicking in dark these days, as in studying. (hehee..no pun intended, although its hard to ignore [;)] ) So not much of phoning and chatting though I do reply to those buzzes I keep getting. (Most of my friends have life time incoming free plan so believe in running up MY MOM’S phone bill by giving a missed call…I am not complaining. Not my phone. [:p] And landline to landline calls are free! hehee)
What else can contribute to my state of “happy-being”…How about the world’s most immodest brat telling you that he checks this page twice a day for a new entry? [:p] You know it’s somebody trying to get out of their immodest skin and getting all “butter”-y and sugary but than feels good all the same. Lol. I can’t help thinking about this only regular reader I have while I write. [;)]
That’s it; covered everything already. The last paragraph was redundant; was trying to return the favour by being nice and sweet. [;)]