Sunday, June 10, 2007

On Cloud 9

Can’t recall was he last time I felt this cheerful and happy for no particular reason. [:)] (just read my last post so thought of giving the same start..hehee). First things first-I might sound too girly in this one (with all the “hehee”s and “lol”s). Please ignore. Secondly, I have no plans to “edit” or “fine-tune” it because that way, I’ll get into that messy business of trying to drive sense into all that I have written (and I hate doing that). Let me just pour my heart out like I did in the last post, and leave it at that.

Lets see, what can be the possible reasons for my happiness? I haven’t exactly been doing “brilliantly” in my tests but yeah things are looking up. I’ll do better if I start studying and not depend solely on my previous knowledge of the topic. (Which is nil when it comes to physics, so that explains my dismal performance. [:(] )

May be it is that I have learned to control my temper!!!! Yes. And it’s all the more good because I always thought myself incapable of it. Now, I have found better ways to give vent to my pent-up feelings, rather than losing it on others. Ways like, playing basketball on the terrace or drink some cold coffee and sleep! And the best one is to try and solve physics problems. Last one is either equivalent to banging one’s head against the wall (when you can’t do a thing properly) or gives me a high. (When things are okay) (I have never been “tunn” so don’t know what exactly one feels when they are “there” but people get a high after a heady drink I guess it is something like what I feel when I solve 10 numericals in a row [:p]and that happens quite frequently now-the only side-effects in my case, being “a feeling of satisfaction” and “happier parents”)

May be it is because I have re-realised that it’s ME who will decide who all I want in my life. I choose my friends. I decide who all I want to talk to, and in what way. It’s my prerogative to determine how close or far I wish to be to my masi-mausaji or my first cousins, and that mum-dad have absolutely no problems with my decision of maintaining distance for the simple reason that I dislike them. (One should keep it simple- like/dislike/I-give-a-damn) All this sounds so obvious but then this whole funda registered completely only sometime back when mum told me that I am, after all a child/kid. I don’t have to be sweet and nice to everyone even if I hate them like hell but that does not mean I have to be rude to them. She just meant “Cut off when it starts getting on your nerves”. Differentiate between best friends, good friends and well, just friends. You can’t be an open book for everyone to read. Learn to let go of people when its time and know when the time comes. I loved it. I don’t know but it makes you feel better (confident and sure of yourself??) to know for a fact that YOU are the one who’s completely in control of your life and that nobody can ever take that away from you. This, isn’t exactly the kind of advice mum usually gives me. She’s more like “step into the other person’s shoes”, “you disagreeing to a thing does not make it any less true” but then I guess she knew what I wanted from her at that point in time. She gave me just that. MOTHERS, they ALWAYS know what is good for you. (Even when they don’t get you a cell-phone or teach you how to drive a 4-wheeler while your 13 year old first cousin is doing a Schumi and practically everyone in the khandaan knows how to drive a car, leaving out you and your younger brother, hmphhhh. Thankfully I have my bro’s company.Relief! hehee)

All this is more than enough for me to be happy-happy. Yeah, this abstract and dumb sounding stuff makes me secure and glad. Lol. To count the normal stuff…ummmm…one can be that mum-dad bought me two new capries and two tops in last one week!!! Other can be that "InSoMnIaC" is gonna be out soon-for those who dont know it yet, that's the name of Enrique's much awaited album. He kept us waiting for 1155 days!!! lol. And it can also be that I have struck a balance between friends and family. I don’t talk over the phone to my friends much now and don’t even message much (Don’t message because I CANT message anymore, lets not discuss this and keep the tragedies aside for now) Now everyone’s getting used to the idea of me being a night bird ("yullupana" rubbing off [;)]) who is mostly out of house in daylight and if there, is sleeping. I am alive and kicking in dark these days, as in studying. (hehee..no pun intended, although its hard to ignore [;)] ) So not much of phoning and chatting though I do reply to those buzzes I keep getting. (Most of my friends have life time incoming free plan so believe in running up MY MOM’S phone bill by giving a missed call…I am not complaining. Not my phone. [:p] And landline to landline calls are free! hehee)

What else can contribute to my state of “happy-being”…How about the world’s most immodest brat telling you that he checks this page twice a day for a new entry? [:p] You know it’s somebody trying to get out of their immodest skin and getting all “butter”-y and sugary but than feels good all the same. Lol. I can’t help thinking about this only regular reader I have while I write. [;)]

That’s it; covered everything already. The last paragraph was redundant; was trying to return the favour by being nice and sweet. [;)]

6 comments:

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

First thing first...
From which angle was it suppose to be "girly"??
couldn't understand this part...(or maybe i shouldn't..i've ceased trying too understand wat happens in a gals mind...too complex even for me..[;)])

waise am i suppose to dissect it para by para??
nah too perfect...
bt fir bhi thda sa hi likhunga toh no one will believe ki antriksh k pas kuch kehne ko hi nai bacha...(have an image to maintain na yar...)

u've started controlling ur temper??
great..only problem i cant believe u have(0r had) such a problem...
or maybe i'm a little lucky tat i haven't seen your head fired upto mt. kilimanjaro...

oh n PLEASE PLEASE ever get "tunned" when with me....(or with anyone else for tat matter..isnt good 4 ya...)
i have been a 'bhuktbhogi' of gals getting full high(or should it be intoxicated??) and than unko sambhalna...lets just not talk about it ok??? strange memories...neither good nor bad..just.. huh..some other time...just thank god no one threw up !!!

i wont say anythibg about tat mother's topic because its a little touchy issue for me...
maatao ki bat aate hi bhavuk ho jata hun main..n i believe they n their teachings(they being MOTHERS et all) deserve a full coverage in a blog n not in a comment section....

but letme get into my serious,preaching mode a lil(nd as aanjulli say gloomy personality coming into play...or did she wanted to be politically correct and used gloomy as a synonym for boring??..dunno will have to ask...(which i won't off course...bracket k andar bracket??a new high for me...lol))

i agreed with whatever u wrote..(well we are same to same)..even i follow these principals...only difference my maa didnt preached me all this but i made all these rules to follow ...(yeah u guessed right)by myself...i guess i have realised it more strongaly tat it’s ME who will decide who all I want in my life or rather how i will live my life...(n off course maa is more practical than a philosopher so i expect right actions from her to preach than words...qualities skipped a generation..lol)

just one footnote in all of this...
i read this somewhere and liked it so much that i incorprated it in my life philosophies..'thinking your life does not influence mine just means sitting in the same boat n saying to the other "hey, ur side of the boat is sinking"'

so basically its ur decisions which decide the course of ur life..
but others decisions also form abrations on the surface of your path..which might change or atleast deviate your course altogether..
(physics padh rai hai so do i need to give the example of the pool ball??nai na??good..means studies in full swing)

ohh n tat abstract and dumb sounding stuff isn't like tat et all..its quite common and logical..haven't you heard small things in life provide more happiness than many big things..(but again big n small are just comparitative..lol..i'm confusing na??[;)])

oh n yeah cant say nothing about your rising bill nd low message sending abilities(myself under the scanner nowadays...just heard "beta teeno phone ka bill 1000 se upar hi kyo??"...
i dont think so i should give them a heart attack by saying ki iss bar toh maine kam bat ki thi..jo ki sach hai...nd sirf 7 dosto ko call kr k hi ye hal hua hai??..yeah i tht so too i shouldn't tell them)

just wish you would have been in dilli or me in pink city..[:(]it would have been much easier and more fun...


ohh n yeah madame do ya get all sugary n buttery??
nai na??so how did ya think i'll resort to this??..just not my style..
but yeah i agree i do check ur blog page everytime i come online...so understand watever u wanna infer

feels good to know tat there is someone else too in this ..jisko bnate hue god khud confuse ho gya nd sabhi kuch pack kr k bhej dia..smartness,brains etc etc(kal hi suna maine ye apne liye n tere pe bhi exactly fit hai)..

GOD BLESS YA...
TAKE CARE N BYE..

PS-hey did ya noticed??another blog like comment??lol...

Sakshi Arora said...

Oooo...how much do i love reading all this! lol. Its like reading the undiscovered part of ur own brain!!! seriously...lol.

I knew it was to have a lot of "hehee" n that sounds too girly to a few ppl so u knw..playing safe.

n yeah i had a huge temper problem(remember i told u abt that tussle wid...samajh ja yaar..) I dunno but u have always escaped the ire somehow..interesting, tujhpe kabhi gussa kyon ni hui...anyways now u safe..dont get angry now, that phase is a passe..It was just a matter of realising that u cannot take the liberty of showing what u feel abt something to everyone.(i think when ppl get angry they are either utterly helpless or feel very strongly for something..whatsay?)

would love to know more about the tunn part.In Detail.[;)]Lets wait for the right time.[:p]

About ur gloomy-boring personality..u wont hv bn a gemini if u were deprived of that. Trust me rixxy, each n everyone of us has it-u, me, raj, mamta di, aanjulli di, bhavya(uski thodi romantic wali hoti hai [:p]), puneet, prapti. In sabki to pukka hai..bakiyon ki bi hogi..lol

As for ur bill...ahem ahem..is baar to rajasthan k numbers se zyada bill ni thuka hoga...kuch to locha hai..lol. remind me to clear the air about this one when we both online next.lol.

About either of us relocating, i have a more practical option...pray that i get into any damned medical collee n get outta this place. Things will be better. Believe me.(This place is beginning to bug me more than ever...what heat..euughhh)

feels good to know tat there is someone else too in this ..jisko bnate hue god khud confuse ho gya nd sabhi kuch pack kr k bhej dia..smartness,brains etc etc(kal hi suna maine ye apne liye n tere pe bhi exactly fit hai)..
huh...tujhe ye jisne kaha hai ek baar please mujhse milana yaar...as it is u hardly ever have ur head on ur shoulders...SUCH compliments make my job tougher.hmphhh.aise to tu kabhi modesty ko theek se spell karna bhi ni seekhega.[;)]

n did i mention that i loved that little piece of philosophy you jhaado-fied??Cool hai.

And i have never learnt to end a thing properly so here comes an abrupt-take care! study hard! n keep in tuch...god bless ya.

P.S.-whats a pool ball??n what does it have to do with physics??????????? [:o]

Antriksh Satyarthi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Antriksh Satyarthi said...

I didnt intended to make this a chat room but i guess your last comment on the pool ball forced me to write this[;P](yeah right like i wouldn't have written otherwise...)..i'll get back to it after i take care of some trivial matters...

First thing,i always escaped your ire cos frankaly i'm quite a nice n sweet guy(yeah ok..immodest too but so wat??sue me..[;)]),and as usual everyone(well almost)remain happy around me and well i dont give them any reason to loose there cool...(usually..80% of the time..)
or maybe they might be intimidated by ME??never thought about it like tat...

n yeah i feel suddenly i have misplaced my temper...started loosing it would be more apt..always ready to errupt...

'Tunn' part will be disclosed one day when either u n me are face to face..or atleast talking..;)

ek phone ka bill is courtesy all due to a no. in rajasthan madame..so i dont think any clarification is needed..

I keep praying dear...and i sincerely hope u r paying for my mba..(ab isi ka sahara hai..lol..)

and agar aur kya-kya praising mili mujko wo btaunga toh i have a feeling u'll feel ur job is being made even more difficult..[;)]
good thing na i dont take these comliments on my head?? all this immodesty is made up by my mind only..
guess i'm a self made man..lol...

ohh n before i forgot..
pool ball..arre dumbo billiards ball...
never heard about how friction on the table causes the ball to deviate from its line??..
i used it just as an example...
i hope tat has cleared the air..

n yeah friction is part of physics..so it DID had something to do with it..samjhi???


bye..
take care
and god bless you...

(just thought i'll give "to end abruptly" a shot too.. but i feel i'm not good with it so i'll stick to my sort of endings)

study hard...
and yeah 'keep in touch'..ye bhi koi kehne ki bat hai???
i'll stick to ya like chewing gum does to hair..just less grossly..lol

BYES..

Sakshi Arora said...

i'll stick to ya like chewing gum does to hair..just less grossly..lol EUGHHHH...i almost puked...similes cannot get worse...YUCK!!

by the way what makes you think i dont particularly "like" this page being turned into a chat room...I LOVE IT. lol

You, intimidating...well, frankly that can be a possibility-i wont like to mess with a 6'1.589" giant.[that's what i call giving devil its due [:p] ]

And somebody said they were waiting for some kind of praise from SOME quarter...well wait for about 5 n a half years for that dear. You'll get it one fine day..lol

The phone bill mystery isnt solved yet.

what else..thats about it. You can do better practising how to keep up a one sided conversation. [;)]

And think of less gross endings for ur comments(i prefer the abrupt endings to THOSE types..uuughhh)

k. tc. study hard.
god bless ya.

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

lol...
can't stop laughing...
well i didnt wanted tat effect with that use of simile...but since it had tat effect only I'M PLEASED(maybe..who knows.. this WAS the effect i wanted in the back of my mind)

anyways i'll keep this one short(u havent provided anything to elaborate upon)

And somebody said they were waiting for some kind of praise from SOME quarter...well wait for about 5 n a half years for that dear. You'll get it one fine day..
did i said tat i wanted a praise from someone for something(i have a feeling tat SOMEONE is you...but hey wenever u praise urself or anyone else does for tat matter i automatically gets it too na..lol..)??
in wat context??
i cant remember..waise it shouldnt b tat big a surprise cause well yeah i like being praised...fuels my 'feeling of self-importance'..lol

'The Mystery of the Phone Bill' will b tried solving..well yeah on the phone...

and yeah i'm very good in keeping one sided conversations(will provide an example later..)

ohkay
bye
take care
god bless

dekha kitni abrupt n bland ending hui??
didnt liked it...
but hey ur wish is my command...[:D]